the power of pms

today so far:

- econ lecture, squinting at the whiteboard. was convinced that lecturer was stoned on weed or tranquilizers, couldn't think of any other way to explain his inability to teach anything useful in a 2 hour session
- sat with jinny in the front row after the break, hopes of new and useful knowledge slowly crushed as the minutes passed and lecturer continued drawing un-useable graphs and beating around general knowledge type of points
- depressing ass class in global justice, feels like philosophical discussion goes nowhere, wish we could talk about solutions or at least something positive, because there will obviously never be a perfect argument or basis for empirical work, but problems are still there, and solutions are not
- after class went to tesco
- found out that normal magnum ice cream bars were out of stock
- came home and started on whisky braised pork
- felt trapped and mildly stressed out cooking prawn noodle soup and braised pork simultaneously for two guilt-motivated meal debts
- peeled potatoes, found green/grey spots in 3 of them, felt depressed about how even the most unethically and inorganically processed groceries are still fucked up
- adding on to 2 dishes started cooking lunch
- overdid tagliatele by a minute, turned out softer than al dente and a bit sticky which I really hate
- went into a restless self-loathing mood, decided to go out for coffee
- chilling at Colville Place severely dampened by discussion of central Africa's problems and how reality crushes ideals
- relatively clean but messy looking man put down a paper bag on the bench next to me then walked to the dustbin
- seemed rather conscientious holding a newspaper, imagined he was disposing of some litter responsibly
- realised he was homeless because his clothes and briefs were falling out of the bag.
- realised he was going through the trash and not actually disposing of some litter responsibly
- walked away and sat in front of a playground that looks awesome but is restricted to children only
- wondered what kind of sick country forbids adults from entering playgrounds
- pedophiles must be really rampant or something here
- went to tesco again
- saw that the price of balhsen leibniz biscuits increased from 75p to 1.69 pounds
- bought 2 boxes anyway, bought some kit kats in the hope that my flatmates and i will eventually overcome our now expensive addiction
- came home to the smell of smoke
- opened kitchen door to a smoke cloud and a pot of burnt pork
- wasted pork broth putting out the heat which only generated more smoke, not to mention the fact that the burnt stew contained all the Jack Daniel's and soy sauce we had left in the house
- felt a bit like crying, thought very briefly about killing myself
- contemplated the incredible stupidity and lameness of crying over burnt pork and how difficult it would be to explain to my friends and family if i died like this