Saturday, August 16, 2014


No idea where I'm going and sometimes that's immensely enjoyable and sometimes I don't enjoy it so much. It doesn't seem like a positive quality for a young person to possess, though. I listen to people who act like they've got it all together, people who've got a plan. I thought I'd become more and more like those people and less and less like me. But I was only learning how to talk like them, act like them. It's nice, and why not? It would be better if I believed it all, but now I don't. It's fizzed out a little, maybe. I'm losing interest in things, losing interest in people, losing motivation to keep up any pretense of a disciplined lifestyle. I want to jump in the sea and stay there for a long time. I want to drive around and go anywhere I want, any time I want. If I go soon I'll have good time for the return. I'm scared of losing my sense of direction and not being able to find my way back.