Saturday, July 12, 2014
Oh there you are.
No I'm not.
I'm not here. Go away.
What? What? That doesn't even make sense. Come on. Let's go.
You go. I'm not going anywhere.
You're going to stay here forever??
Then let's go. Get up. Let's go now.
No. I don't want to go.
What? Why not?
I just don't want to go and I don't want to go with you.
What's wrong with me?
Nothing. Nothing's wrong with you. I just won't go with you.
I'll get upset. It's no good if I go with you. I don't want to go back to the way things were. I'd rather stay here on my own.
Come on. Don't say that. It's ok. Weren't things ok? It's really all ok most of the time, isn't it?
No it's not, that's what you think, and that's what's wrong with the whole thing. It's not actually ok. And just because I feel that way and you don't doesn't mean you're right and I'm wrong about it.
Ok, ok. Come on.
Come on what?
You won't come with me?
No I won't. I'm sorry. I wish I could but I can't. I really can't anymore.
Then... Then can I stay here?
Then can I stay here? I've been looking for you all over the place. I came here and found you. I wasn't going to leave without you. I didn't know where we were going to go but I thought we would go together. So if you're not moving, fine. I've got nowhere to go. I'm just going to stay.
Who said you can stay here?
Who said you could stay here?
Could you move over. I'm going to lie down. I'm really tired. Thanks.
Friday, July 11, 2014
I was twisting a flower around my finger until the stem broke. This was in a dream. The question is not whether you are happy or not but whether you should be happy or not. Some people keep quiet and it's strange to hear them speak, but you end up spending the whole night waiting for it anyway. You know that people all have stories. They're playing in your head, all day and at night while you lie in bed, eyes open. And you thought that's what happens for everybody else as well, but maybe that's not the case.