D-MAN

AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A G THANG

 

So that's that. See you soon xo

As we enter October

When things are bad then it seems pretty sensible to look for volatility instead.. Bad is bad but is life about absolutes or relatives? There's always lower levels to buy in and higher levels to sell out and even if we're on a bumpy road down south as long as the new highs are higher than the old lows.. then take advantage of what you can right? 

Feels like life is bottoming out but I like the feeling of hitting the floor because once things move it'll only be upwards. This kind of explains everything why I am the way I don't see myself moving in a single trajectory upwards because no force is going to move things up without something worse to push off from. The only fear is that you get sucker punched because you can't handle the lows but then you could never know how big the bounce is from that, right? That's what trampoline was all about I guess.. you can't get any height unless you sink in deep... the push off is easy, all just instinct + natural forces + the trampoline itself. Some people kick off harder than others and it's obvious, but the best gymnasts never look like they put in any force and that is the beautiful thing about the sport. It should always look that natural and graceful like a dance in freefall 

Sundays

So now I am starting over again in the preliminary stages of what adult life is supposed to be. I am slowly and carefully building up an army of pencil skirts, modest blouses and covered shoes. Waking up at 6am to an iPhone alarm and making a regular commute is my life now and I think I am growing again. Things are not easy but I'm very happy that I am where people expect bigger and better from me and I have a chance to prove that they are not wrong.

I WILL BE GOOD

Is it normal to be so angry to lie in bed demolishing all the weak arguments I keep hearing, the same old opinions that are so unbased and so unnecessary. The same themes keep coming up in my head over and over again. Unhappy people are the most selfish. Happiness is severely underrated so much so I have begun to associate unhappiness with stupidity. In one on one conversation I am empathic and I say things gently but when I don't want to be an enabler. The difficult talks always happen in my head. It's probably really unhealthy internalizing this stuff. 

I've Got The Time

Go 2 Hell Singtel

You never activate my phone services when my dad calls in advance to have it done

Your 24 hour call centre people keep picking up my calls and telling me in their comforting and reliable Singlish that it'll be done as soon as possible, I should try to reboot my system in a few hours

Your phone plan allows me to make calls and texts but I can't get any of my Blackberry services. The biggest kicker is that Whatsapp works

I called you when I was on the street. When I was in a cafe waiting for my lunch.

You told me this morning that my BB services will be up by afternoon. I waited to do it in the evening and for all my patience and good faith... I got no new emails. No BBMs either.

And I was even thinking about getting an iPhone contract with you.

But now

 

I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!11

Any and Every Ever

Going back to Singapore in about six days and midway through packing hell. Things I have learnt about packing after 3 years of moving and travelling with big/medium/small suitcases for long/short trips:

1. Cling wrap is mankind's greatest invention. It is sterile and airtight and stretchy and if you wrap it tightly around anything it compresses it like.. well vacuum packs, but I haven't got a vacuum sealing machine on hand. I bought a 45p roll from Tesco and have been using it to wrap up my shoes and bulky clothes. It just makes so much sense when you're packing crap loads of random stuff together..

2. Packing clothes into individual canvas totes, for organization purposes and also so that you can pack all that shit up more tightly without cling-wrapping everything. That would take a lot of time and also how would you be able to find specific things like a mid length black pencil skirt when everything looks black and cling-wrapped shiny?? So far packed work clothes into one bag, summer casual stuff in another, and winter stuff in another one. And one for books and scarves. It's much easier to unpack when everything's already in bags and not a massive pile. When floor space is scarce it's tough living out of a suitcase.

3. Put heavy stuff at the bottom of the suitcase so that the bag doesn't topple over easily. I don't know if other people have this problem but I always do.. all these imbalanced suitcases falling over squashing toes and in the worst case, babies.

Maybe these things are totally obvious but this is my game plan right now.. Mostly worried about unpacking because when I get back it's straight to the hairdresser's and setting up my phone plan, and then getting into battle mode for my first day of business. And of course as many meals in between as possible. 

AAAA

In this moment and every single one past a world of potentialities has been brought into realization and into obliteration. As time passes the balance shifts because time necessitates some action, might even be an action in itself. Of some agent or force. So any kind of action no matter how intangible or invisible   is a realization of something that is no longer a potential. We move from 0% realization and 100% potential towards 0% potential and 100% realization. When everything is realized and there is no more potential I suppose we can only be dead.

Carnage

Just got back from the most epic and fun trip of my life thus far so it is true that things can and do always get better :)

Sitting in my room alone packing up my things in slow motion sessions and trying not to panic about the massive amount of life clutter I have amassed in the last three years. I should try to sell or donate most of my things but who would want them now? I have a hoarder complex so this is all not going down well at all. Time to call in the big guns