I don't like it when there is a disjunct between what I think and what I express, like in situations where what I would do is not what I should do. The reason why I feel this way is because I still think that there is a possibility of perfect unity within a person, between our emotions and thoughts and actions. There is nothing virtuous or noble about doing what seems to be the right thing to do, regardless of whether we want to or not. There is only virtue in the act that is carried out with pleasure and full willingness. Morality is meaningless if it is detached from human desire. "What do you want?". "I want to do the right thing" type of reasoning is flawed for this reason. To actively pursue this type of self-alienation is the most brutal thing a person can do to himself. It is brutal not because it is painful or irrational, but because it is inhumane.
It is also being dishonest, and therefore being stupid because the truth always prevails, in quiet and mysterious ways and the more you try to suppress it the more obvious it becomes.
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