Poms

Dreamt of a man who had two really fluffy Pomeranians that he was totally devoted to. Then one morning he woke up and they were missing from his bed. He was really distraught. It was then revealed to me that he was a CIA spy and had been wearing pheromones spray that came in a little gray tube. I held the tube in my hand and accidentally sprayed it on the man sitting next to me. Nothing really changed. I was still thinking about the CIA man having to choose between his career and his dogs. 

Sometimes

Sometimes he's terrible and sometimes he's not that bad

Sometimes it's mild anxiety and sometimes it's full blown dread. 

Sometimes I find myself asleep on the floor. 

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever love anybody more. 

Grace

I spent the evening with my two favourite cousins who are male and whose names start with the letter "J" and it was so nice.

Lonerism

Rain

There is an idea of a person, and then the world. The world exists, complete and independent of our consciousness of it. Our existence however is entirely dependent on, and defined by the world. It's a debt we are all born with and the gift of consciousness is to remind us of this debt. Maybe it's impossible to ever repay this debt but there will be those who try, and there will be those who give up.

==

How did we all become who we are, right now?

Experiences, I suppose.

You don't think there's things you are just born with?

I suppose the things you are born with can determine the experiences you have after you are born, so in that sense, experiences are still more important.

Do you believe in free will?

No. I believe that the human will is capable of and has achieved a great many things, but total freedom doesn't exist.

But should people have total freedom?

It's not a question of should or should not. We can do many things that make us happy. But freedom is an abstract concept. It's just one of those things that was not given to us.

==

The most important experience a person can have is fear.

==

The most natural and obvious fact remains: I can give up on anything except myself.

2015

Aristotelian v.s. Platonic Love

Aristotelian love is that conception of love to which love of another human being (I) stems from a fundamental completeness of person - an achieved moral character and its consequence, an authentic self-love; and (II) is aimed at a heightened, and joyous, self-experience, as an end in itself, not a means to some greater end - because there is no greater end for a human being than his own happiness of earth, and such life is a source of profound happiness. 

Platonic love is that conception of love according to which love of another human being (I) stems from a fundamental incompleteness of person, and (II) is aimed at some higher goal and value beyond the love relationship itself, through which the desired completeness is approached. 

6 key aspects of the Aristotelian alternative to Platonic love:

1. There is nothing higher or more real than the individual. 

2. Completeness of character (moral perfection) is possible. 

3. Humans can achieve full virtues. 

4. Humans take pride in this and this is profoundly good. 

5. Love for others is an expression of love for self. 

6. Love is an end in itself. 

Kena

The $30 parking fine was due yesterday. It was my moms fault. My dad was overseas this week so my mom had been using his car for the past week. 

My mom dropped me off at a friend's apartment for a Christmas party, saying that she would pay the fine on the way home after that. 

The next morning I woke up a little hungover and she was sitting on the sofa watching TV. I asked her, so did you go pay the fine last night? She looked at me and said no, she will go pay it later. 

In the evening we were going to pick up my dad from the airport. On the way there I asked her, so did you go pay the fine today? She paused for a while and said no. 

My dad got in the car. He told us about his trip. About halfway he asked us if we had paid the parking fine yet and I said "Yes". 

When we got home my dad got his bags and I told him "We need to go to mummy's office to put down some things, we will come back later."

We drove to Thomson Plaza. Before I got out of the car my mother said “阿颖，你真的是个很好的女孩。谁放弃你没有眼光。”

I got out of the car and went to the machine to pay the fine. The $30 fine dated 27/11/2014 was there, unpaid. 

And below that I saw another fine of $10. It was dated 17/12/2014. 

Encounters

Today a man came up to me on the street and told me he was a face reader or whatever you call it. He told me that I have a good life but poor luck. He said I have a smart face. But there's a lot of Yin stuff near me for a long time. That's why I have bad luck. And he said I carry other people's bad luck for them too. And that's why I have these dark eye rings and don't get fat even though I eat well. He said that's why I get dreams that jolt my body awake at night.

Then he took out a golden charm and told me that today is an auspicious day for me because I met him, and he's going to be my benefactor. He said all I have to do to get rid of this bad energy is to put the charm in water and use the water to wash my face. He said then my eyebags will disappear and things will get better.

I said ok cool, interesting. So are you going to give it to me or something?

He said I have to give a donation to the temple which would be $20.

I thought about it briefly because $20 isn't a lot to improve my quality of life drastically and solve my dark eye circle problem. Even for a laugh and some hope, $20 sounds ok.

This Side of Paradise

"Youth is like having a big plate of candy. Sentimentalists think they want to be in the pure, simple state they were in before they ate the candy. They don't. They just want the fun of eating it all again. The matron doesn't want to repeat her girlhood - she wants to repeat her honeymoon. I don't want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again."