Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Filbert Street

One way to manage my mental health (aside from pathetic attempts at self-medication) is flying into wherever in the world X is and then hiding myself away, alone, knowing that if anything bad happens she is close by. We can go everywhere together and do anything together. I feel more like myself with her than when I'm alone. People who don't have a twin might not understand that we weren't born alone into the world. As far as individual consciousness goes we are as alone as anybody else but in all external experiences we had each other, for most of our lives. 

In the past few years separation has been necessary and beneficial to the both of us. She is still the one person I talk to about everything and anything. We are very dependent on each other that way. Flying to the US twice a year is no issue thankfully as air travel keeps getting more affordable and I deeply enjoy the long haul flights where I can stare out of the window watching hours go by. 

There are places in my head that I visit less and less but they are still there waiting patiently for me. I keep a safe distance away most of the time but once I'm too close that's it... I know that a few days later I will come out the other side okay but when the monsters feed it really takes a lot out of me.

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