I cut my stomach open and all my guts spilled out. Everything that was inside suddenly came up to the surface. The blood was really gross and ugly and beautiful all at the same time, and it went everywhere it got stuck in between the bathroom tiles it got all over the nice white dry clean only bedsheets. Everything was fine just a few seconds before. You know it's always there, inside of you, you never really have to think about it and now you're looking at it. It's not like an alien substance. It's your blood, it's you. And it's fucking hard to clean up.