Sometimes

Sometimes you think all you want is somebody who knows what kind of toilet paper you like but it's a big world out there, and lots of people might know what kind of toilet paper you like but they'll be wrong for you in so many ways you can't even imagine. Some people might even just think they know what kind of toilet paper you like, when really, they have no idea at all.

And there's going to be somebody who has no idea what kind of toilet paper you like. But you think well, this is going to be the person who's going to find out for himself, what kind of toilet paper I like. After spending a long time together you think to yourself, well, surely by now he knows what kind of toilet paper I like. How could he not? It's the only thing in the world that I think is important. It's a warm and fuzzy thought, and you go to bed, peaceful in the knowledge that you're one of the lucky ones who found somebody who know what kind of toilet paper you like.

The next morning you put on your glasses and walk into the toilet to brush your teeth. You notice that there's a fresh roll of toilet paper next to the toilet bowl. 

Then it all comes crashing down on you as you realise... what the fuck... who the fuck bought... TESCO VALUE TOILET TISSUE??????!!!!