Recent thoughts Jun-14

1. Having no time is an excuse because time is a resource and being able to make time and manage your time is about efficiency and productivity and resourceful. 

2. It's Lawrence's world, and we're all just living in it. 

3. I really like this pink dress. I think I'm going to buy it in black as well. 

4. We went to the stadium. The audience sat in their chairs as the music started. I still don't know how the sound brought me close to tears. It wasn't even that good. 

5. All my life I thought one day a great big wave would pick me up and take me away with it. The closest experience I've had so far is being part of a Kallang Wave. I wonder if that's what I wanted all along. 

《青玉案·元夕》

东风夜放花千树，
更吹落、
星如雨。
宝马雕车香满路。
风箫声动，
玉壶光转，
一夜鱼龙舞。
蛾儿雪柳黄金缕，
笑语盈盈暗香去。
众里寻他千百度；
蓦然回首，
那人却在
灯火阑珊处。

-辛弃疾

Horizon Green

I looked around and everything was greyed out. 

The best things appear without you realising and are still there when you do. 

This week I told someone that he's perfect

Do you feel overwhelmed when good things happen to you?

Yeah, I still feel that way a lot. 

Why do you feel weird? Isn't this what you always wanted?

Maybe I just wanted these things because I wanted to get what I want, and I didn't care about the thing at all.

So do you know what you want now?

Not really. It always changes, but I'm figuring it out. It's like some sort of sick process. If I want something I go and get it and then when I get it I can then see if I wanted it at all to begin with.

That's perverse. That sounds tiring and a bit selfish.

Yeah you're right. It is tiring. And I am a bit selfish. So what?

Pick and choose

I am incredibly sad right now / I am incredibly happy right now

Everything is just fucked up / Everything is just great 

The future looks like shit / The future looks beautiful 

It's getting worse / It's just getting better 

There's no hope / There's so much hope 

I will never have anything I want / I will have everything I ever wanted 

Life is terrible / Life is amazing