Swallowfield

With the morbidly late sunsets these days it feels like the days are bleeding into the nights which bleed again into the day. The lines between one day and the next are so blurry, the bank holidays this weekend and all the late nights aren't helping either.

Have had extremely happy days for the past week or so. Went to Antwerp on a whim, visited Sam in Durham and came back to hang out with my best friends in London. For the last three years I have relied so heavily on these people for their comfort and company. I love that my best friendships are easy and kind and honest. Distance is easy because closeness inevitably leads to friction. I think it might be a matter of whether people are willing to endure that temporary awkwardness for the long term gains. After waking up to a frigid morning we brought lunch to the boys' flat in Regent's Park and spent the afternoon playing mahjong and talking about things like, dreams, fears, ambitions, hopes. What we think and what we don't think. We're all very different people, it's quite obvious, but whatever made us still led us together. It is a bit miraculous maybe.

I am so grateful that this sort of happiness is present in my life,I must not waste it or forget it. There are so many things to love in this world, how could anybody bear to, or dare to turn their backs on them? Or even worse, to not see them at all? 

That is the only thing which is truly and really sad.