Any and Every Ever

Going back to Singapore in about six days and midway through packing hell. Things I have learnt about packing after 3 years of moving and travelling with big/medium/small suitcases for long/short trips:

1. Cling wrap is mankind's greatest invention. It is sterile and airtight and stretchy and if you wrap it tightly around anything it compresses it like.. well vacuum packs, but I haven't got a vacuum sealing machine on hand. I bought a 45p roll from Tesco and have been using it to wrap up my shoes and bulky clothes. It just makes so much sense when you're packing crap loads of random stuff together..

2. Packing clothes into individual canvas totes, for organization purposes and also so that you can pack all that shit up more tightly without cling-wrapping everything. That would take a lot of time and also how would you be able to find specific things like a mid length black pencil skirt when everything looks black and cling-wrapped shiny?? So far packed work clothes into one bag, summer casual stuff in another, and winter stuff in another one. And one for books and scarves. It's much easier to unpack when everything's already in bags and not a massive pile. When floor space is scarce it's tough living out of a suitcase.

3. Put heavy stuff at the bottom of the suitcase so that the bag doesn't topple over easily. I don't know if other people have this problem but I always do.. all these imbalanced suitcases falling over squashing toes and in the worst case, babies.

Maybe these things are totally obvious but this is my game plan right now.. Mostly worried about unpacking because when I get back it's straight to the hairdresser's and setting up my phone plan, and then getting into battle mode for my first day of business. And of course as many meals in between as possible. 

AAAA

In this moment and every single one past a world of potentialities has been brought into realization and into obliteration. As time passes the balance shifts because time necessitates some action, might even be an action in itself. Of some agent or force. So any kind of action no matter how intangible or invisible   is a realization of something that is no longer a potential. We move from 0% realization and 100% potential towards 0% potential and 100% realization. When everything is realized and there is no more potential I suppose we can only be dead.

Carnage

Just got back from the most epic and fun trip of my life thus far so it is true that things can and do always get better :)

Sitting in my room alone packing up my things in slow motion sessions and trying not to panic about the massive amount of life clutter I have amassed in the last three years. I should try to sell or donate most of my things but who would want them now? I have a hoarder complex so this is all not going down well at all. Time to call in the big guns

Themes

Swallowfield

With the morbidly late sunsets these days it feels like the days are bleeding into the nights which bleed again into the day. The lines between one day and the next are so blurry, the bank holidays this weekend and all the late nights aren't helping either.

Have had extremely happy days for the past week or so. Went to Antwerp on a whim, visited Sam in Durham and came back to hang out with my best friends in London. For the last three years I have relied so heavily on these people for their comfort and company. I love that my best friendships are easy and kind and honest. Distance is easy because closeness inevitably leads to friction. I think it might be a matter of whether people are willing to endure that temporary awkwardness for the long term gains. After waking up to a frigid morning we brought lunch to the boys' flat in Regent's Park and spent the afternoon playing mahjong and talking about things like, dreams, fears, ambitions, hopes. What we think and what we don't think. We're all very different people, it's quite obvious, but whatever made us still led us together. It is a bit miraculous maybe.

I am so grateful that this sort of happiness is present in my life,I must not waste it or forget it. There are so many things to love in this world, how could anybody bear to, or dare to turn their backs on them? Or even worse, to not see them at all? 

That is the only thing which is truly and really sad.