Mama Mia

Had a bad panic attack last night. It's been a regular thing for the last few years. I get depressed and anxious and then I have a meltdown and then hover delicately around these two states. Long story short we have abandoned our Airbnb and moved into a hotel down the street.

I know what my triggers are. Those risks are not worth taking. When things aren't working it takes a lot of energy and time away from my work. The cost is too great. Life is too short.

Only some people can be trusted to take care of me. I only feel safe when I'm inside my fort, with a fire-breathing dragon on patrol, and a moat full of bloodthirsty sharks.

Italy

It is my first visit to the country of Italy, half for work and half for some quality time with my architect half.

Bologna was exciting. I enjoyed the children's book fair very much. Having time to think helps me move forward. My mindset has developed positively over the few days of the fair.

Naples was interesting and charmed my socks off. It took a while to get used to it but I have fallen in love with the little streets that wind up and down. The buildings have a closeness that is shared by the people and cars as well. There is so much history in the city, and yet so much fresh life. I felt very privileged being able to visit and work amongst the designers including X.

And Capri! It is one of the loveliest places I have ever visited. Yesterday we hiked around for most of the day and got ourselves a little sunburnt. Every time I catch a view of the ocean I cannot bring myself to look away. The little streets and lemon trees are wonderful as well. But the best thing of all is rambling with X on a sunny day.