No idea where I'm going and sometimes that's immensely enjoyable and sometimes I don't enjoy it so much. It doesn't seem like a positive quality for a young person to possess, though. I listen to people who act like they've got it all together, people who've got a plan. I thought I'd become more and more like those people and less and less like me. But I was only learning how to talk like them, act like them. It's nice, and why not? It would be better if I believed it all, but now I don't. It's fizzed out a little, maybe. I'm losing interest in things, losing interest in people, losing motivation to keep up any pretense of a disciplined lifestyle. I want to jump in the sea and stay there for a long time. I want to drive around and go anywhere I want, any time I want. If I go soon I'll have good time for the return. I'm scared of losing my sense of direction and not being able to find my way back.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Coastin'
No idea where I'm going and sometimes that's immensely enjoyable and sometimes I don't enjoy it so much. It doesn't seem like a positive quality for a young person to possess, though. I listen to people who act like they've got it all together, people who've got a plan. I thought I'd become more and more like those people and less and less like me. But I was only learning how to talk like them, act like them. It's nice, and why not? It would be better if I believed it all, but now I don't. It's fizzed out a little, maybe. I'm losing interest in things, losing interest in people, losing motivation to keep up any pretense of a disciplined lifestyle. I want to jump in the sea and stay there for a long time. I want to drive around and go anywhere I want, any time I want. If I go soon I'll have good time for the return. I'm scared of losing my sense of direction and not being able to find my way back.
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